Girl Interrupted

Friday, September 02, 2005

[+/-] Sharks demystified

Ok, so it all seems so obvious now.

Sharks = crocodiles = snapping turtles

Like, duh!

sharks = big, scary, will devour me...

BUT I kindof ignore them in all my dreams. They are there, and I am desperately afraid, but I kindof ignore them, sit very still, not flap around and make a noise, not attract their attention, ignore the fear so they don't smell it, if I don't notice them then maybe they won't notice me, and then everything will be fine.

Seems very obvious now: sharks must = turtle = crocodile = big, looming scary thoughts or big bad feelings in my emotional state (more depression or irritability or whatever), ignoring them in case confronting them lets them consume me entirely...

Its consistent with my attitude of ignoring depression will make it go away eventually...

Yes, I know that is the wrong attitude to have, I am working on changing the subconcious patterns there. It might take a long while though - I was the type of kid who hid under the duvet, shut her eyes from the closet monsters and lay very very still - if I can't see them, they can't see me... Thats a long history of subconscious patterns to change...
 
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